


Well I'm down on my luck

by columbine_and_asphodel (onlycrooks)



Series: The Innocent Bystander [7]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Did I Mention Angst?, Gen, Secrets, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-02
Updated: 2012-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-04 17:28:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlycrooks/pseuds/columbine_and_asphodel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are always reminders of the pain and the regret, of the time the ink sank into him and left the mark he craved, and he's yet to find a balm for his guilt. Every morning he wakes up and knows that he'll never be able to look his daughter in the eye if he fails.</p><p>Or, Danny suffers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well I'm down on my luck

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all. I was going to post this last night, but I'd had a PICC line inserted earlier and couldn't type with one arm. Thus, I'm updating tonight!  
> Oorah for the first chapter since the end of the Danny!whump.
> 
> Alsooooooo! I'd just like to say that I'm... I don't know... honored? Yeah, that sounds right. I'm honored to hear that I've created a little niche in the fandom which has feelings of anger and hatred directed towards Steve.

Danny trudges down the last few feet of hallway, moves past the mangled door, then trips over the threshold on his way into the pitch black hotel room. He lands with a cruel belly flop, hitting the side of his face on the rough carpet. Too exhausted to be upset by the memory of what happened earlier on it, he simply hefts his arms in front of him and begins dragging himself to where he thinks he'll find the bed.

It takes him longer than he'd anticipated.

When he finally manages to reach the foot of the bed, he takes a moment to catch his breath before starting the next stage of getting into bed. He pulls his lower body up, eventually dragging himself into a squatting position; encouraged, he tries to stand up, hoping he'll just fall forward into bed. Instead, he loses his balance and falls over backwards, sitting down hard on his sore behind.

Tears spring into his eyes, and he finds he's too weak to hold them back.

For some reason, being so weak he can't control himself is hilarious, so the falling tears have companions in short bursts of laughter and in the shuddering sobs that soon make themselves known.

He knows that he has to get home, knows that Grace worries about him, but the idea of standing up is... unappealing, so he distracts himself by thinking about the last hour or so.

After Kevin _finished,_ he left Danny on the floor and made his own way to infirmary on the bottom floor; Danny knows this because, after waking up half an hour later, he went to the same place. Kevin hadn't left yet, and the pretty nurse working on him didn't seemed keen to let him.

She wasn't going to have to fight for him, though. Danny was more than happy for her to take Kevin home. The man's appetite had been sated, after all.

Under a minute later, Anja came out and bustled him into a curtained-off area. Her glove-covered touches were professional, her face impassive as she carefully examined every bruise, cut and abrasion on his body. The worst of it was the rug burn that covered nearly the entirety of his left side from armpit to thigh.

When he felt a cold hand spread his legs, Danny couldn't even summon up the energy to flinch. He lay on his stomach and thought about what he'd tell Gracie.

One the cold hands- no longer wearing a glove- settled on the back of his head and rubbed.

"That was the last time," Anja whispered. "We have what we need."

Danny nodded, not particularly concerned.

"One more, Dannyboy, one more," she said before bending over to place a kiss on the back of his neck.

"...But I'm the perfect fit. It's fine," he responded, no longer numb. Instead, he was cold and tired and repulsed. "I'll finish up later, but right now I have to sleep."

"That's fine. Be back here at seven o'clock tomorrow," came Anja's reply, reapplying the necessary professional detachment.

He nodded, then began the god-awful trek back to the room.

...which brings him back to his current position: sitting on the floor, completely naked, his legs bent and pulled up against his chest and encircled by his arms, his chin resting atop his back knee. Ignoring the pain-fire scorching his backside, it's as comfortable a position as any, and it lets him contemplate the tiny tattoo he'd gotten after the accident that left his brother Nate mute.

Tucked into the crease between groin and leg, his knowledge of its existence making it pulse with a soft heat so he can see it even without light, is a line of tiny graffiti letters (Nate's favorite font).

 _"The body says what words cannot,"_ Danny whispers.

He'll wake up in three hours with the uncomfortable sensation of dried tears on his face and a half-faded memory of calling out for Grace. Unlike every other night does so, however, Grace won't have been the only person Danny asked to come for him.

**Author's Note:**

> "The body says what words cannot."  
> -Martha Graham


End file.
